The Struggle! of a Wife and her Snoring Husband (funny)

Yes, this is my husband 🙂

A weed whacker, lawn mower, diesel engine, a giant boar… While I love my husband, some nights the idea of putting the pillow over his face until the snoring stops, may or may not cross my mind. You see my husband had a nose problem, and though surgery did help, it does not fix his sleeping with mouth open problem. (a habit since a child)

I am a light sleeper, as I have children and like to keep an ear watch on the front door for safety. So I will be sleeping, so hard I am dreaming of happiness and candy and such (apparently I dream about candy crush)… When I am awoken by a LOUD GASP AND PIG NOISES in my ear.

Oh yeah, did I mention my ever so loving husband loves to chase me in the bed for cuddles. While I do think he is adorable and sweet, I am terrified by the jolt I am awoken with. I am pretty sure my heart temporarily stops when I wake to snores.

My husband also talks in his sleep… the crazy things I hear!!! The most recent, I had been trying to keep him on his right side, on the opposite side of the bed. While this sounds cruel, let me explain. We recently have an air mattress, and every 2 hours it deflated too much, I have to inflate it again. So by keeping him on the other side, I am lifted up and straight, and on his right side, he does not snore… as bad. -.-  Back to my story on what he talks about in his sleep. Well, that same night he said (because of the situation), “no time for cuddles”. That is one of the cutest, saddest, most honest things… loving moment, then snoring begins again. 🙂

Another time he said, “You are with me because I can talk to gerbils!”, I laughed so flipping hard. I said, “um no”… Then he replied, “Really? When is the last time you were a gerbil”. “Yesterday”, I played along. “okay”, he then said satisfied. I laughed and realized… “Wait, We Have Guinea Pigs!

My husband, before he was my husband admitted to me he was looking at rings in his sleep. Anytime he seems to start talking about things like work, I smack him! 🙂 He works for the military, so I take no chances. However, he usually talks about something I am doing… or literally the last thing he talks about before bed. The first time he said he loved me was in his sleep… However, I was still terrified of the idea of love, so just in case… I pretended to be asleep that too.

Sometimes when he is having nightmares or bad dreams, he runs in place on his side… The last bad dream he had did not end well for me. In my sleep, out of nowhere… He punches me on the side of my face… I was like “What the heck David (husband)?”, He woke up enough to say,  in shock “I am So Sorry (kissing my cheek), HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?”, then he starts snoring again.

Two weeks ago David (husband) and Jack (my son), both had a nightmare at the same time! That was crazy, I calmed my son, then convinced David that everything was okay, while he was asleep. Both seemed okay after being reassured and I went back to bed. 🙂

Have you done the math yet by the way? Between, a Deflating mattress, nightmares, sleep talking, listening for robbers, running my husband in my own bed, and trying to sleep between the earthquake snores… When do I sleep? Did I also mention I wake up at 4 am to make breakfast for my husband. While it is rough, I do enjoy every one of those moments, even getting punched (by the way, it did not hurt). While writing those down, and thinking of many others, I have a huge smile on my face. Every missed min of sleep is worth it to me, just to see him roll over, smile and giggle in his sleep, then whisper he loves me.

PS… GOOD NEWS, for anyone worried about my sleep. After he leaves at 5 am, I go back to bed and actually sleep. 😉

Hope you enjoyed this* Feel free to like and of course, comment sharing some of your stories. I would love to hear them. 😀 

Definition of Cuddles: The process of a bunch of cuddle. 

Definition Made Up by my Husband David Graham. 

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