Recap of Part 1 (EVERYTHING WAS GOING BAD, BUT I TRUSTED GOD) Here is how bad… and the changing point. Now… I warn you, some of this is very personal and painful, but I promise it gets better.
So here I was, living with roommates, just lost my job. Trying to figure out what I was going to do when… We find out my son is allergic to the apartment I am living in, at this point I was terrified I would not get my son either. I already was worrying money wise, because I would let his father/my ex-husband (a good dad) watch my son before I would ever not be able to feed him because of lack of work. Which would mean I would never get to see my son, but at least he would be safe and fed.
But wait… There’s more. I also was dealing with a year relationship coming to an end. I was weak one night, and let myself sin. We both were striving to be abstinent for the Lord, and I/we failed. This caused him to disappear out of thin air…(Which I now thank God for, but we are not there yet, so hold on.) Only 3-5 days later, I had a miscarriage……. Ya, that one still hurts a little.
People think it was just a short time… it should not matter… but, it does matter, you care… That is a beautiful baby, I won’t get to meet until later in heaven… ***See Broken Heart Verses I used to get through, on the bottom.
Back to my story… So, everything hurt, my heart, my eyes, my head… I was super stressed. And I lost it! I fell to my knees on my floor, with my head in my hands on my bed… Weeping, crying out to God. I said God, I am about to lose my son, my apartment, etc… God, MAY YOUR WILL BE DONE… I cannot do this on my own, please save me from myself. The Lord comforted me and brought me peace.
The next day I was on my computer looking up jobs, I started applying and looking. I applied for a couple that I was qualified for and started to feel disappointed in myself… that I had not found one yet, I started attacking myself inside. Then I rebuked them, saying “NO”… It is in Gods hands. I then went on Facebook and started to write “I should be mad, sad, depressed, angry and afraid, but I am not. I am trusting in God to help me. Satan, you will not win!”. As I pushed the post button, I got a phone call for an interview. That was God saying, I saw your act of faith and I am listening. 🙂
Made me cry happy tears. I did not get that job, but I did get another one within a week. That same week I found out my son was not allergic to my apartment, and that he would be okay. So I not only got a job, but I got to have my son. IT GETS BETTER, GOD WAS NOT DONE.
I had been on a dating site off and on, and I was bored one night… I went back on it and found a gentleman that looked like he would be cool to just hang out with. I messaged him and he happened to also be bored out of his mind… So what do two 26-year-olds do on a Friday night bored out of their minds??? We went to Wal-Mart of course. 🙂
I needed a new hairbrush, and I just wanted friendship at this time… Well, it went well and we ended up going to Denny’s diner. We sat there eating, then God whispers “this is the one”.. I replied “WAIT WHAT? YOU MEAN BOYFRIEND RIGHT??? GOD? GOD?”… No, he did not answer that part. (Knowing I would run like I was being chased by a cheetah)
I was going to run anyway because he seemed to good to be true and he was Buddhist. (nothing against Buddhists, I just needed someone who believed the same as me) But something inside me wanted to wait, one more weekend to see if we would work. That very weekend the Lord spoke through me to him, and he chose to let Jesus into his heart. And now, a year+ later, I am married to that man… David. 🙂
The Lord did not just save me from myself, the Lord restored me to greater than ever before. Did I also mention, my ex-was not loyal and took everything with him. I owned nothing after the divorce. But with David, my husband… I gained double what I had lost in my first marriage. (Another child, more love, material items, etc.) Plus, I have someone who takes care of me and is faithful and trustworthy. God truly does go above and beyond what we ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
So there you have it, horrible turned into good. I am sitting here writing this, while my husband replaces light bulbs… I could not be more blessed, I have a loving husband and two beautiful sons.. and a place to call home. Just remember, this was a time period of a year and a half… Not overnight, have faith… God is faithful. Chances are if you pray for his will… and it is not happening… Either it’s on its way, waiting on your acts of faith, or he has something better. Just trust in him… God is Good.
Thank You for reading! Please like and follow, tell me what you think… I love positive criticism and a healthy debate.
The Verses The Lord Uses on my Heart***
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and loving-kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
2 Corinthians 9:8
8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, “declares the Lord.9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
1 Peter 5:
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.